From matchmaker to millionaire with Ruth Alexander
Let’s welcome Realtor and Founder of the RARE Group, Ruth Alexander, to the show to talk about going from rock bottom to top producing realtor with Coldwell Banker Mountain Central. Ruth candidly shares the story of how she pulled herself out of a desperate situation and addresses a lot of related topics that affect all entrepreneurs working to find success.
Ruth’s story begins with an unplanned matchmaking business that sprung out of event planning and takes her through the dissolution of a marriage and homelessness with her two daughters right up until today, at the top of her field in real estate. We discuss how women in particular have been historically reluctant to talk about or seize control of finances, and how that negatively impacts their futures.
Episode Summary
Host Melanie Nicholson welcomes Realtor and Founder of the RARE Group, Ruth Alexander, to the show to talk about going from rock bottom to top producing realtor with Coldwell Banker Mountain Central. Ruth candidly shares the story of how she pulled herself out of a desperate situation and addresses a lot of related topics that affect all entrepreneurs working to find success.
Episode Notes
Host Melanie Nicholson welcomes Realtor and Founder of the RARE Group, Ruth Alexander, to the show to talk about going from rock bottom to top producing realtor with Coldwell Banker Mountain Central. Ruth candidly shares the story of how she pulled herself out of a desperate situation and addresses a lot of related topics that affect all entrepreneurs working to find success.
Ruth’s story begins with an unplanned matchmaking business that sprung out of event planning and takes her through the dissolution of a marriage and homelessness with her two daughters right up until today, at the top of her field in real estate. She and Melanie discuss how women in particular have been historically reluctant to talk about or seize control of finances, and how that negatively impacts their futures. Ruth understands the level of determination and hard work it takes to be a successful entrepreneur and she shares insight on everything from exhaustion and burnout to assessing future restructuring to benefit her business. The conversation will inspire and inform everyone but will especially impact entrepreneurs.
“You know, when you have nothing to lose, I think, that is a real fire lit for you, especially when you are a mom and you're responsible for your kids. You know, all women out there who have kids or not, when you are at rock bottom, you know, there's only one way to go. And so that is exactly what catapulted me. My inspiration was to show my kids that you don't have to rely on anyone. You yourself have all the tools to succeed.” - Ruth Alexander
About Ruth Alexander
CLHMS™, Licensed Realtor® Founder, RARE GROUP
Ruth is a Certified Luxury Home Marketing Specialist (CLHMS™), top-producing Realtor®️ with Coldwell Banker Mountain Central, and a Social Media strategist whose passion for real estate is contagious. Ruth has a reputation as a hard-working Realtor®️ with an unwavering commitment to excellence.
She is also a devoted leader and has hand-selected a group of RARE real estate agents on a mission to elevate the real estate experience for Buyers and Sellers in Calgary and surrounding areas, including the outlying communities to the East and West of Calgary including Strathmore and Canmore.
Ruth’s philosophy on what it means to be a great Realtor is to live and breathe the highest level of accountability, professionalism, integrity, and honesty with every client and at all price points.
Ruth is also an Accredited Buyer’s Representative and has additional negotiations training. Along with her dedicated team, they bring the ability to effectively negotiate on behalf of their clients. Negotiation skills are essential for a buyer's agent to ensure that their clients get the best possible deal on a property. RARE GROUP is able to effectively assess the value of a property with their strong local real estate knowledge and negotiate with the seller or their agent to reach a mutually agreeable price and other terms of the sale, such as contingencies, closing dates, and repairs. In addition to negotiation skills, Ruth and her team possess strong communication, problem-solving, and time-management skills. Listening to their clients' needs, identifying properties that meet their criteria, and providing expert guidance and advice throughout the home-buying process is their specialty.
As a result of her go-getter attitude and determination, Ruth has closed over $100 million in real estate transactions within her first four years of working independently as a Realtor®. Ruth Alexander is ranked in the top 1% of Coldwell Banker real estate agents in North America, and top 2% globally.
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Contact Melanie Nicholson | Melanie Lynn Communications Inc.
Contact Ruth Alexander | RARE Group
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Transcript
Melanie Nicholson: [00:00:03] Hey, everyone, and welcome to It's A Theory. I'm Melanie Nicholson, and I'm taking you inside the world of leaders and entrepreneurs who are taking ideas and concepts and putting them into action. What really happened when they put theory into practice? Let's find out. Today we're talking with Ruth Alexander, who went from being a millionaire matchmaker to a globally ranked real estate agent. We cover everything in this conversation from why women don't talk enough about money and finances to starting from rock bottom and burnout. A little more about Ruth. Ruth is a certified luxury home marketing specialist, a top producing realtor with Coldwell Banker Mountain Central, and a social media strategist whose passion for real estate is contagious. Ruth has a reputation as a hard-working realtor with an unwavering commitment to excellence. As a result of her go-getter attitude and determination, Ruth has closed over 100 million in real estate transactions within her first four years of working independently as a realtor. Ruth Alexander is ranked in the top 1% of Coldwell Banker real estate agents in North America and the top 2% globally. She's based in Calgary, Alberta, but also has listings in Canmore, just outside of Banff National Park, and we are so excited to have her on the podcast today. So let's talk to Ruth. Ruth, I'm so excited to have you here today.
Ruth Alexander: [00:01:29] Thanks for having me.
Melanie Nicholson: [00:01:31] I want to really start with your story. I love your story. You went from being a millionaire matchmaker to a real estate agent. I think we have to start there. How do you go from matchmaking to real estate?
Ruth Alexander: [00:01:44] Well, aren't they kind of the same thing?
Melanie Nicholson: [00:01:47] I guess they are when you really think about it. Yeah. Tell me more.
Ruth Alexander: [00:01:52] Oh, that was probably when I was in my late 20s. And how that came to be is I was planning a lot of events at the time that stemmed from having a job in sales. When I first, when I had my first daughter, Cameron, she was just about six months old and I really wanted to get out there and work and I had just moved to Calgary, so I applied for a job at a local printing company, West Canadian Graphics. Because I was a single mum, you know, I had a really small budget, instead of bringing all of my clients separately out to lunches or dinners or whatever, you know, the company suggested we do, I thought instead it would be much more economical if I had a party at my house and invited all of my clients at once. And I, I remember my hairdresser at the time had, you know, he was washing my hair and said he had this band on the side, this like heavy metal band that did covers of AC/DC. And I thought, Oh well that's really cool. Would you perform at my party? So I invited my corporate clients to this party in my little duplex that I had at the time. And you know, it was such a hit. I think again, because I did it so organically and, you know, I thought it just made sense to buy, you know, a dozen bottles of red, a dozen bottles of Prosecco, have this band in the back yard. And I would kind of treat and I made all the appys myself.
Ruth Alexander: [00:03:30] I love to cook. And from that party, you know, word got around that I threw the best parties. And then from there I started doing these events where people gathered at different restaurants. I always had a fundraiser attached to it, and from there everyone was always asking me after the parties, who was so-and-so and were they single? It was at the time when the Los Angeles, you know, and in New York there were matchmaking shows. Here in Calgary, though, you know, it's kind of a, it's a very conservative city. It really didn't fly, the idea, because, you know, it got sort of overtones to it of matching people. And really, I found it to be really high maintenance because, you know, everyone would call after the date and it would require hours and hours of time for very little return, frankly, because, you know, in a city like Calgary versus New York or LA, it was a little absurd to charge $10,000 or the fees that they were charging in a population as dense as LA and New York. The pool was really quite small here in Calgary. That didn't really work. It really did give me the opportunity to meet so many different people and extend my network. And, you know, there were various news articles. You know, fast forward to I got married and had a second daughter. I stayed home for almost ten years. And during that time I continued doing a lot of fundraising events in Calgary and hence continued to grow my network in that sense.
Melanie Nicholson: [00:05:13] So you went into real estate, though. That's what I want to, like what got you into, when we think about like you were matchmaking, you were stay at home mom, you had your kids, that's fantastic. And then the transition into real estate, it's that taking that step, taking that leap. So I mean you go from no real estate experience. You launch in. What, one, what made you launch in and how did you really get started there?
Ruth Alexander: [00:05:41] Right. So real estate happened like so many things in your life that turn out to be a great choice for you. It's you know, the theory behind that is you really are always on a path to hopefully end up where you're supposed to be. Some people just take longer than others. And for me, I happened upon real estate quite by mistake in terms of my luxury life sort of came to a definite halt. The marriage broke down. And, you know, the lesson in that is I was really detached from the financial aspect of our marriage and of our life. And, you know, I do always take personal responsibility when things come crashing down. Like as in you can only really find peace, I think, in yourself by being accountable for the part you played. And for me, I was just living this life believing everything was fine, being told everything was fine, but having no part in the financial aspect of our marriage. So when things came crashing down, I truly was under the belief that, you know, maybe we did have to sell our house and, which we did. And I was in the process of renting and waiting for the home to close, my real estate to close, when we got a call that funds owing on the home were more than what we had sold the house for. And so that was the beginning of a very hard journey for myself, my kids, because we ended up, you know, quite by surprise, having really nothing.
Ruth Alexander: [00:07:24] And we had to give notice where we were renting. And a very long story short, we became homeless where I had to put one of my daughters who was just finishing grade 12 at a friend's house, and my other daughter that was six and myself, we had to camp out in a friend's basement. And we literally, you know, I was 40, 45 years old, 46 years old, and suddenly found myself homeless with no job prospects. And that's when, in order to put food on the table, I turned to some people I knew in my community. Some were realtors, some were builders. And I was offering to do any type of girl Friday job, any job that I could. Meanwhile, I was going to several interviews, you know, as an event planner. And of course, you know, I was competing with people who had master's degrees. I had been out of the workforce technically for over ten years. So even though I you know, I got those interviews and I often was at the top three tiers of who they choose, I just would not get hired. No one would hire me. So here I was homeless. No one would hire me. I was just getting side jobs to pay for some groceries, having few options out there. And also having been told that our summer cottage was in foreclosure, I really had to get creative very quickly.
Ruth Alexander: [00:08:56] That was just when VRBO had come out. You know, the only way that I could have any income at all, you know, I had these two kids to take care of and clothe and feed. I quickly put my properties on VRBO and in order to get traction, I also, you know, there was something called Facebook, you know, and Instagram. I ended up really putting a lot of time and effort in those apps, you know, to get them rented out. I was, you know, in a very desperate situation. So it was either rent them out, and I only had limited amounts of time to do so. And so I was successful at doing that. And hence I was approaching a couple of friends that were realtors or builders and saying, Look, you know, I seem to be getting some traction and getting a lot of exposure on different social media platforms, so maybe I could do that for your company and get more exposure for your listings. And I knew nothing about real estate. I only knew that I was getting a lot of traffic to my listings, so to speak, to find renters. And so that's what I did. I'm a very fast typist as well. I excelled at typing in school and being a bit of a class clown. So you put those two things together. You know, I was born to be a realtor, I guess.
Melanie Nicholson: [00:10:20] I want to talk about, I mean, you talked about not really understanding the finances, where your financial situation was. And I've read in the, you've said in the past that women don't talk about finances or money, and that needs to change. Why do you think that is? That women don't talk about it? And how do we change that from a business owner perspective, from just a person on the street perspective? How do we change that?
Ruth Alexander: [00:10:54] It's interesting. I think traditionally and, you know, men have been the providers. I mean, definitely that has changed. But women are fairly new at it, really, if you think of it in terms of historically, there's hundreds and hundreds, thousands and thousands of years of men, you know, being hunters and women taking care of the household. So it sort of was not really our natural inclination to do that. But, you know, I think my whole life, you know, that was a piece of a puzzle that I wasn't in control of. And I think not just men. I think a lot of, or women, I think a lot of women and men are not in control of their finances. And people don't like to talk about finances much like they didn't want to talk about, you know, mental health and depression. I think they're really tied. And there's a lot of shame to it. If you're not together with your finances, you really are not together. And no one wants to admit that. And that was sort of a big reason, I think, in the marriage, it fell apart in terms of there's a lot of shame around, you know, whether it's not managing the money or drinking or any anything that is deemed that you're supposed to be in control of. Addiction. Mental health. Money is tied to it. And women, I think, are getting better at it. I know that I have no problem talking about money. And I'm not ashamed of it.
Melanie Nicholson: [00:12:28] You should be proud of it. Let's talk about it. You went from 0 to 100 million in revenue in the last four years.
Ruth Alexander: [00:12:35] Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know..
Melanie Nicholson: [00:12:27] That's amazing.
Ruth Alexander: [00:12:38] Thank you. Yeah, I think, you know, I sold six homes in my first year, and I've sold - along with my amazing team this year - sold over 60 homes. So in a short period of time, you know, definitely... You know, when you have nothing to lose, I think, though, that is a real fire lit for you, especially when you are a mom and you're responsible for your kids. You really, you know, all women out there who have kids or not, when you are at rock bottom, you know, there's only one way to go. And so that is exactly what catapulted me. My inspiration was to show my kids that, you know, you don't have to rely on anyone. You yourself have all the tools to succeed. And for me, definitely, I look at every day, like even today, it doesn't matter how much success I've found - and it's not just me - when you are in sales, an entrepreneur of any kind, and you make a living on commission, something people don't like to talk about either, by the way, you have to get very comfortable talking about it. You have to live every day like it was your last sale, right? Every sale was your last sale. It's gone. It's done. And interestingly enough, it was a lot like that in matchmaking. Right?
Melanie Nicholson: [00:14:00] Fair enough. Yeah. Do you live in a, do you live in a state of, I have a plan B if it all just stops tomorrow? Or do you focus more on the forward focus?
Ruth Alexander: [00:14:11] I never, never have a plan B. I'm 100% focused on my plan A at all times, and I'm like the quintessential hunter of new clients. I like that. I have actually found where I need to be. And if there were ever, you know, of course you think of your future because I'm not a spring chicken, you know, I'm going to be 52 soon. So I do think about retirement or what that looks like. And probably it would be in a role where I was working, but maybe with a larger real estate firm or something real estate related that I could mentor, lead and organize, you know, a company for growth. I would use my experience that way. I like the hunt and that's how I'm wired. And I guess I've just figured that out through disaster, you know, I got to know who I really am, and I'm so pleased, I'd have it no other way.
Melanie Nicholson: [00:15:07] What was it? It's funny you mentioned disaster, because what I'm curious about, I mean, as a fellow entrepreneur, obviously you start with this great plan. Okay, well, let's see how this goes, and then muddle our way through for a little while and then figure it out some more from theory to reality. So what would you say is the most surprising thing that you ran into, if you think about the last four years, that you really didn't expect that you had to navigate your way around?
Ruth Alexander: [00:15:33] Well, I was really surprised at, I'm surprised I didn't figure this out earlier - I've always thought I was a pretty intelligent person - but I'm surprised at how many years I spent just wasting time. I had so many qualities that it was obvious. You know, a few people said you should be a realtor, real estate agent. And, you know, I didn't really have a lot of respect for that, interestingly enough. Like, I just thought that was a job that, you know, sure, you look nice and you drive a nice car, but, you know, it was a no-brainer. It was like just an easy job. And I think a lot of people have that thought. They're kind of like irritated that they have to use a realtor to sell their home. And I think, well, that brings me to what I am most surprised about is how intricate this business is and how skilled you really have to be in dealing with people and fears. And, you know, it goes right back to money, doesn't it? It's always full circle to money. And it's interesting because now I am helping people make some of the biggest decisions in their life. Yeah, that maybe is why I love it so much. I feel like it's important. It has really made me look at everything in my life from a forensic, you know, my bank account, I have Excel spreadsheets now. I'm you know, by no means am I perfect or super organized, but the trajectory of this job has really, you know, and going into everyone's home and seeing their personal situations, dealing with people going through big life-changing moments and their real estate portfolio is the most important aspect of their retirement or their future plans or their beginning plans. But it all, it's all very serendipitous that, you know, I lost all of my real estate. I lost everything. And I am, you know, building my own. And there's nothing more gratifying.
Melanie Nicholson: [00:17:47] Does that give you that extra level of connection and understanding with your clients because you've been in all of these different spaces from homeless to luxury, and it is sad, but does it also help you become more of an educator for them?
Ruth Alexander: [00:18:05] Well, I think, you know, I have a high level of empathy because I have experienced these ups and downs. But yeah, I think a lot of my clients turn to me for strength because they know that I have lost it all. Most of them are in much better situations that I could have ever dreamed of being. So maybe I do remind them of how fortunate they are. But yeah, I definitely think you're right. It helps me. And also I have a team of four other amazing individuals and all of this, you know, disaster and chaos that I had go on in my life has really grounded me, which is, you know, I guess you could go one or two ways.
Melanie Nicholson: [00:18:54] But you're right. It could go, it could go either way.
Ruth Alexander: [00:18:57] It could have broken me, for sure. And, you know, I had choices. You know, I could have, you know, just been on the hunt to be matched again. I definitely could have gone in that direction. There's so many directions you can go in life every day. And I guess it comes down to choice. And, you know, I chose to break that cycle and to show my daughters that you could rely on yourself first and foremost, and also to be financially aware of where you're at.
Melanie Nicholson: [00:19:30] And how tired are you, Ruth? I want to talk about this because you've, I mean, we've talked about 0 to 100 million in four years. You've built a team. You've gone from nothing to significant presence on social media, which takes time. You've built this business, you must be tired. And I wonder. You don't look tired. But I'm thinking you might be tired and I want to talk about it because you and I talked about this offline a little bit about burnout. And I think it's important that we talk about burnout in those early years of building this business. And also from the women perspective, because women are trying to do so many other things as well as build the business, it's not just I'm going to work and then I'm coming home. It's everything else that comes with making sure your kids are okay and all these different elements and dads do that too. So but no one really talks about burnout. So do you feel that way? Do you feel like you're sort of riding this wave of sometimes I'm exhausted, sometimes I'm not?
Ruth Alexander: [00:20:38] No, no. I'm perpetually exhausted. But, you know, that has a lot to do with age, I think. You know, I'm aging. There's a lot of fear around saying you're tired. I mean, no one wants to work with a tired person. They want to work with someone with a lot of energy. And, you know, I do have boundless energy. Am I taking care of myself? I don't think so. I think that I could be more disciplined and I could make more time to go for a walk and to, you know, lift a weight or two, or jump on the Peloton bike I rewarded myself with.
Melanie Nicholson: [00:21:15] That collects dust in the corner. We all have one of those.
Ruth Alexander: [00:21:18] I think so. Right? But you know, I am so, you know, I am my own worst enemy. I think, yeah, I am my own worst enemy in terms of, you know, I just could work all day and all night. I love what I do so much. I love reaching out to clients. I love doing social media. And I have the sore elbows and shoulders and wrists to prove it. It is a long game. You know, again, what I said earlier about is a real estate agent just a pretty face driving a nice car and, you know, they just roll into your house and then roll out and they make all kinds of money. And that's sort of the general conception. And, you know, I think there are some realtors who I'd love to have them tell me their secret, but it's a long game and clients need a lot of guidance. And it is a lot of mental anguish, a lot of late night negotiating. And, you know, I get up and I'm immediately on my phone, immediately on my computer or on the road. And then I have a team also that, you know, I'm hoping to build and grow. So like you, you own a business, you have so many different hats. And I think I am at this point finally, you know, after four years of hard work, I do recognize that I'm going to have to delegate more, otherwise I will end up crashing and burning.
Melanie Nicholson: [00:22:55] That's what I was going to say. Where? What's next then? Where do you go from here? Do you work at full steam? Do you build in a different way? What's the theory you take into the next four years?
Ruth Alexander: [00:23:07] So, you know, for the last four years, probably like many people listening to this podcast and are entrepreneurs are doing, you know, working on their own or growing a business. We all know that, you know, it's not glamorous and there's a lot of work that goes on behind the scenes, but it's also very reactive work because, you know, you're building, for me especially, having been in a state of, you know, if I don't get a sale, I don't get groceries, you know, coming from that fear. And I functioned for a long time on fear. Now I really try - it's hard to not still have that fear sink in because, again, you know, I may have, I've earned more in the first four months of this year than I, you know, ever earned in my history at any job. But my fear is still there, so it's hard to step back and take the time to restructure because, you know, sales will not be as robust when you step back. But you have to be able to be at peace with that. And I am at that spot. And maybe it was forced on me because I'm so exhausted from having been going full throttle to this particular time. It's a little bit of a slower market at the moment, which is a bit of a relief because of the pace we've been going for so long. But the fear is still there for every single real estate agent, for sure, that it's not going to get as busy as it was. I have no fear about that. I think the business will always be there, especially if you're really good at what you do and you love what you do and you're a true professional.
Ruth Alexander: [00:25:05] I do believe the business is always going to be there for me, but how I manage my business and the systems in order to grow is really the next frontier for me. So that will require a little bit of a step back. And that means that I'll be more selective with clients, not as reactive. You know, just saying yes to everything is maybe not going to be part of my next step. In order to grow and mature in any business, you have to step back and look at what's worked and where the missing spots are. And because I've been so reactive for so long, I don't think that that's sustainable for long term. So you have to step back. You know, I had a really good friend who had a really awesome business who you should speak to at some point, but I remember her product was just being ordered off the shelves at the Calgary Farmer's market, and it was just so busy and she could never keep up. And so she closed that business and took time away. And not that I'm suggesting I'm going to do that to create sort of the systems that need to be in place to meet the needs of the demand. And so for me, in order to grow my team properly, and for the team I have to be empowered, I think it's time to build systems. And so that's what I've been working at and that's a whole other business that, you know, I'm 100% a sales person. I love that job. I love... And marketing. So when it comes to admin and systems, you know, the --
Melanie Nicholson: [00:26:51] Processes and all of that, yeah.
Ruth Alexander: [00:26:53] I don't like it very much. So it takes a lot of mental and time to think and time to step away. And so yeah, that's where I'm at.
Melanie Nicholson: [00:27:03] And I think that process is no longer, it's not one shoe fits all. It is not. So you do have to create. But I love the fact that you said saying no, because I think one of the biggest things I've learned is you say no to free up room for yes for different yeses and you give yourself the capacity to be better, to grow more and to be more effective. But saying no is terrifying out of the gate.
Ruth Alexander: [00:27:32] It is.
Melanie Nicholson: [00:27:32] But it's the long game. You've said this a couple times. We're playing the long game, so that's great.
Ruth Alexander: [00:27:38] Yeah, I don't want to go to a plan B, but I recognize that I have to create my plan B so that I am on my game. Like my game A is strong because I've created all the systems that typically, you know, that is not my strength for sure. My strength is to push forward and just react and be quick on my feet. But I do recognize that, you know, like anyone, you need those systems in place or you're just always going to be in reactionary mode. And yeah, it's scary. It's scary to flip flop, right?
Melanie Nicholson: [00:28:15] Scary. But good.
Ruth Alexander: [00:28:17] Well.
Melanie Nicholson: [00:28:18] It can be good.
Ruth Alexander: [00:28:19] It's going to be good for sure.
Melanie Nicholson: [00:28:20] It's going to be great.
Ruth Alexander: [00:28:21] I believe 100% that, you know, that's the beauty of surviving loss is if you can get through that and recreate yourself, you know that you have no reason to be afraid of anything, that you can totally do it. And that's what's so empowering, whether you're a woman or a man or anyone who started from scratch, especially later in life, the fact that you can come out of that cave and have conversations like this that will hopefully inspire others that, you know, that's something incredible. So that's where the magic is.
Melanie Nicholson: [00:28:58] Amazing. I think that's the perfect place to end. Ruth, thank you so much for your time today.
Ruth Alexander: [00:29:03] Thank you for having me. It's always a pleasure. Thanks.
Melanie Nicholson: [00:29:09] A huge thank you to Ruth for joining us today. And thank you for listening. Please like, subscribe, and consider giving us a five star rating on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts. Catch you next time on It's A Theory.
Keywords:
Melanie Nicholson, It’s A Theory, entrepreneur, Ruth Alexander, real estate, realtor, luxury real estate, rock bottom, Plan A, Plan B, daughters, finances, financial situation, social media, business owner, matchmaking, matchmaker, women and finance, 100 million in revenue, disaster, burnout